“I’m Sick of Being Patient!”

Have you ever struggled with feelings of frustration over having to be patient with other people or situations? I know I have, so let’s take a closer look at understanding the value of patience and the difference between frustration, aggression and what we can learn from having to wait. We can learn to deal with frustration.

A Therapeutic Approach to Frustration 

Does this sound familiar: “Do this! Do that! Everything right now when someone else wants it, but when I want it, I must be patient.” I can hear my mother’s voice ringing in my memory. “Be patient,” she would often say. She was always telling me to be patient. But why? “Why can’t I just be aggressive like everyone else?” “You’re better than that, patience is a virtue” is what she would say in response. Well, the truth is, sometimes I don’t want to be virtuous! Sometimes I want what I want when I want it. Does that make me aggressive? No.

Basically, aggression is all about presentation. If I disregard others and bully them over with my demands that they comply strictly on my terms, that is aggressive. But if I’m simply frustrated with the “why,” that shouldn’t be an issue, right?

Then what is the point of patience? I suppose what I have learned from trying to be patient is that you can never have enough patience. Because as soon as you do…. BAM! Something else is trying your patience. So, this is what I think: I was tasked with learning patience so that I could understand others’ frustration with waiting.

Anxiety, Depression, and Patience 

People wait for so many things, and not always gracefully. I see people become anxious waiting for the future when they have created a phantom future: A future that is full of catastrophe. I have seen people become depressed waiting for love – the love that they believe will come from the unwilling but just not knowing that person is unwilling. I guess I was supposed to learn patience to be able to sympathize and empathize with those that put in job applications and never hear back. “Be patient; someone will respond… maybe.”

There is so much frustration in the world when we do not get what we want and we find ourselves waiting for things that never come. I think I’m patient, but even I get frustrated when appointments don’t show up or when I go to the doctor’s office and they are not on schedule and I sit in the “waiting” room to be a “patient.” Ironic? Certainly seems so to me.

It’s also an exercise in learning to handle a certain loss of control. We feel impatient and frustrated because we don’t have as much control over the situation as we would like; playing the waiting game with paperwork or bureaucratic processes, the decisions of other people and other factors that are totally outside of our control. That’s difficult, and it’s frustrating. So we get impatient, and that’s a really uncomfortable place to be. 

The truth is, we do have to be okay with the fact that some things and some situations are simply outside of our control. Playing the waiting game – that exercise in patience – can actually be an exercise in acceptance. Honestly, that’s not easy, either. The last thing you want to feel is passive at a time when you’re actively frustrated, with a justifiable sense of urgency about the thing that you want. 

What we truly need in those moments when our patience is being pushed to the limit is support. Support of family or close friends saying the thing we least want to hear, “be patient, wait a little longer.” We might feel that we are going to burst. But having family or close friends around you during those really trying times is the most valuable thing you can have – even more valuable than patience itself. That’s active. That’s effective. But if there are no family or close friends to be found then patience becomes the value. Be patient; there is support for you. You can actively reach out for help when you’re tired of playing the frustration, anxiety, and depression game. 

Anxiety Therapy in Las Vegas 

If you don’t know how to engage with your family or close friends, you are not alone. You can learn this skill. You can learn to connect with others. We all connect through vulnerability and insecurity. The insecurity of waiting for an unknown future can be a great avenue for connecting with family and close friends. It may even create new friends. The hard part is to “be patient” and wait. And if you don’t want to wait? Call me today for an appointment. 702-682-6080. I have immediate openings. I can’t wait to support you while you are frustrated. We can figure it out together.